Starting at the Beginning

Hey!


Life is good right? Haha, don't worry! It's like mother nature, one day it is all yippidy-do-dah and the next  you think all hell possibly broke loose. Gosh, if life had a manual wouldn't we all be amazing at being who we are? Personally, I wonder who actually would read that goddamn infinite paged book! Well, enough of my blabbering about my opinions for right now, and let us get straight down to the facts.

Can't start a blog without telling you a little (lies!!!) about myself...

Call me Lexi (if you didn't get the idea from my blog already). I am a senior in high school, and I have two brothers, neither which graduated from the same high school, and I also will follow in their path with that. My eldest brother, he was in the army for a while but now resides in that exotic place every American wants to live...Hawaii. The other brother, also older if you haven't figured that out, well he's living at home. Truthfully, I feel like I've achieved more than the both of them sometimes. My parents, you ask? Well, my mother, she's sweet, caring, an amazing cook (all my friends love her chicken enchiladas <3), and she is my mom. My father, on-the-other-hand,well he is the dreaded "Po-Po" that everyone fears, and sometimes I feel he is insensitive towards my ways. I live in a nice house, I was in winter cheer my Junior year, I have a really awesome best friend, and from the outside what seems like a normal life.

 It's all an illusion I tell you!

 If anyone could fake being normal, it might be me. Since I was a young child I have had separation issues, in fifth grade I somehow managed to come down with this thing they call anxiety, I have a personal issue that few people know about, and all of this stuff 99% of the people I know have no idea any of this goes on in my life.

 If there was a normal, I would not be one!

I've done a lot of bad things in my life...from meeting people on online games at the age of who knows when, to dating a person from one of those games, to talking to that person on my cell phone unbeknownst to my parents, to meeting that same person in real life, to cheating on him by kissing another guy I met at a wedding reception, to putting contact solution in a friend's drink, to getting in-school for that incident, and last but not least, to the one mistake that cost me the one person I love the most (more about that later in another blog).

Now that I've named pretty much all the bad things I've done, here are the good...

I get good grades: the whole of my sophomore year I got straight A's, I've managed to keep A's and B's pretty much my whole high school career except for the C or two caused by an AP class or  my anxiety, I do not do drugs, I do not drink, I do not smoke, I do not drive recklessly, I have good friends, am better than both of my brothers with their own problems, I volunteer, I have been in 3 pageants (never won one though, but that's not the point to be in one for me), I am involved in my high school, I am the VP of my school's FCCLA, and so much more.

Some stuff to know abut me that I didn't mention before...

I love writing and reading. I want to be an environmentalist when I get older. I miss my brother's dog, LC, she is sooooo adorable, cuddly, smart, and playful. I work with the special needs teens at school, and you have no idea the experiences you'll see or how you feel at the end of the day unless you've worked with them. I love turtles. I love this guy named Adam, who by the way is the one that I wish could see that I am dearly sorry for the mistake I made (again, talk about it later).  OH, by the way, he is my inspiration for this and I would do anything for him (well, maybe I'd have to reconsider the suicidal part unless he was in danger or those kinds of things). I try to be a good friend, but sometimes I screw up just like everyone else does. My problems make me not really know who I am, but I am trying to overcome them especially to show Adam that I will do everything for him. 

 I truly wish he'll read this. 

Gosh...I see how addicting blogs are now. I would have titled this "It's All About Me" but there are limitations that make me know that I am changing my ways to be a better person. I need advice, but I would also like to give some for the people who read my blog if need be. If you would like me to write anything, I am willing to, just let me know. Also, if you have questions about my anxiety, or you might think you have something similar, let me know.

ASK AWAY MY FOLLOWERS!