Those Feelings

I know your thoughts are conflicted, and your mind is spinning. Your heart tells you one thing and your promises tell you another. Lessons have been learned and bridges were burned with the past but here is your present showing you it is all right. You want to move on, but there is something pulling you back. Those memories you made that you tell yourself you need to forget but really you are truly lying to yourself about all of that.  The dreams that you dream were real but you wake up to the nightmare of your life you've made. Your helpless feeling you can do little about. The fact that you spent so long on something you can't go back to with the same feeling you had had before. When the tears spill from your eyes and you can't explain why. The words that race in your head that paper little helps and saying would ruin. Your eyes stay closed but your mind is wide open. To turn back time, what would happen? The chill that never dies. To wish you had done differently. The stinging of your eyes like you cry razor blades. The time when you could have made the choice to have done differently but you did not see it as what it could have been. To writing words that will never be read by those eyes you wish could see them. To remembering the last time.... To the last word that was said. The confusion of it all, not knowing what happens next. Those unexplained moments, thoughts, feelings, and such.

I've been there,.. you've been there,.. we all have.

What will suicide do? You can't see the future, but you can wait. You are not alone in life, don't forget that. People may say, or you might think, that you are nothing to the world, that you don't matter. You matter. Everyday you change lives. By reading this you will have changed mine. I will know that you care. Don't feel afraid of the unknown. Who knows what good in your life you would have missed? You could be someone who changes the way we live! Think about all of the people you've looked up to and admired. Who made those people who they are/were? Their parents, their friends, their teachers, their mentors, their peers,...the list goes on and on. You might not seem important but you really and truly are. You might be that parent, friend, teacher, mentor, peer, or so on. It might not seem so out there in reality but it is there you just have to look for it. Would we have lights or computers or phones if someone had given up on life because they thought that life was not worth it and no one really cared about them. No, we might not of had those things. 

You might not be able to change the past but you can always change the future!