Update of My Very Much Overwhelming Life

Lately I have found myself being severely overwhelmed.

"Oh," you wonder?

How can such a girl like me be so overwhelmed that she just doesn't know what to do with herself? It's possible!

It is very much so!

I've made my share of mistakes over the eighteen years I've thrived on this planet.

If the word "thrived" actually fit my life.

It is more so that I lived, died, relived, broke apart, fell, crawled, scraped through, stumbled, touched, hurdled, feared, cried, smelled, saw, loved, wrote, heard, made, hate, sang, laughed, swam, limped, climbed, etc, etc.

Yet, I'm still here everyone!

Look at that!

I've been on this crazy planet for more than 18 whole years.

Now I may not be doing the best at living my life right now, but give me props for trying.

 

Here's an update on some, but not all, of what I am going through at this moment...

• I'm learning how to be an adult..if that is even possible since at age 18 no one really treats you as such, yet they expect you to do so.
• I'm in my first semester of community college which someone told me I should take six classes. Worst idea in the history of education. Thanks for helping me feel like a failure and make me feel the unbearable overwhelming dread. *FAIL*
• I am dating one of my good friend's friends...whose name just happens to be Sam (M.R.)
• That good friend from above happens to be a guy named Aaron who is currently living on the couch in my living room of my parent's house in which I still inhabit a room in
•  I am going to therapy every Thursday between classes
• My math teacher is one of the most confusing professors I'll ever meet. Including his bifocals, latex gloves, briefcase, and most likely deliberate no-calculator-hardest-way-to-learn-but-best-way-for-me-to-confuse-the-student-while-only-taking-points-for-quizzes-and-tests-so-that-people-who-can-not-learn-applied-calculus-will-fail-my-class-miserably way of teaching.
• The professor who is not an English professor who gave me a 70 out of 100 for a short essay on a court case about education that I answered everything she wanted but somehow decides that since I made a few grammatical mistakes that she should take off 30 points. Oh, and she even spelled grammar wrong on the paper outline!
• The amount of work I am behind and will never catch up on because my parents did not buy me the supplies I needed in the beginning of the semester
• My brother who just got out of the hospital after having been diagnosed with a parasite and the doctor not being sure if he'd make it out alive
• My parents leaving for a long periof of time to visit my brother in Hawaii as he sat in the hospital
• My other brother and his girlfriend coming to the house just to eat my food! Which if you remember...I don't eat that much of what he can
• Losing a group of people who were as close as family to me because of some decisions that were made..whether they were right or wrong for the time being does not matter
• Remembering why it was that I am overwhelmed and then being overwhelmed cause I see how overwhelmed I really am
• The pageant that I'll be participating in this upcoming Saturday that I hope won't be overtaken by any of the other stressors in my life
• The fact that I feel that I sort of wasted my parents money for the first semester of my college education they paid for
• How I want independence but am not sure exactly how I'll end up going about doing so
• How I want my parents to be proud of me, but feel like I'm more or less making a fool out of myself
• The drama of my friends and those around me
• Trying to keep those suffering from depression and other issues alive
• The lack of money due to the fact that I do not have a job and that some of my money has not ever been given to me and by the people who intentionally used me for free because I thought I would be nice
• How all of this makes me go insane and how I try my best to hold it together
• How I need to show you, my readers, that through all this I'm still alive and still working through it as best as I can manage for the time being. To make you see that you can do it too!
• and much more...

That, my friends, was my update and a half plus a little bit of a rant and an extent of trying to release some, if any, stress in my life at this time.