FEARS: TIPS AND MORE

Fears: we all have them!

They get us where we are weakest.

According to pretty much every study out there, public speaking is the number one most feared of all the fears we have. Not even death can overcompensate for how anxiety ridden we are when we are faced with getting up in front of a group of our peers or even strangers! That's absolutely insane to think about! Death, losing others or dying ourselves, is less frightful than standing and presenting our ideas to others when we are alive (may not be breathing, but we are living). Those others, being people we may never encounter again in our lives!

Very interesting fact, isn't it?

Our minds are more concerned with being rejected and disappointing others that we can't even seem to comprehend reality and the truth that hours after we speak publicly no one will probably remember if you hesitated, made a mistake, or, even worse, got sick! Yet, even if they did, why do you care what others think about you. They shouldn't make the decision of whether you're a strong, able-bodied person.

Be yourself!

Openly admit your opinions, because they are yours and no one in their right mind could change them unless you let them.
 

So, don't let them!

Personally, I have a terrible time trying to voice my opinion through speech. As you can probably see, I do way better at showing others how I feel and what I am thinking through writing.

 That's just me!

Now, use me as an example. I have anxiety. Specifically, we can talk about a more categorical kind of anxiety that I have: Agoraphobia. This is the fear, and yes I said "fear", of being stuck in a place or area where you cannot escape. Where people, including strangers, will see you having a panic attack or any such anxiety related symptoms. I have been afraid of riding in cars with my friends, staying over at other people's houses, and sitting in a classroom for 45-90 minutes.

I have been through excruciating pain by facing my fears. Do you know who forced me to do that? Let it be no surprise to you, but I, myself, me, put me through what horrible pain I have experienced up until the very day you read this post on my blog. For example, I used to get very, very sick to my stomach when I would just have to go to  attend school. On top of that, I did everything my peers did and more: I presented projects in front of the class, I joined the student council, I was part of the National Honors Society, I was Vice-President of a club, and I made myself a close student/teacher connection with pretty much all of my teachers, etc.

There is one thing I am most proud of to this day, though. Guess what I did? I made it throught all of this, and I can look back and say I did it no matter what happened throughout my journey.

Now, I am able to be more like myself, and, even better, I can be part of the very few percentage of Americans today that can more easily go up in front of a congregation of people, be it peers or strangers, and speak without having someone to physically or mentally force me to do so.

 I wouldn't say it is super easy, because then I would be lying. Hah! If it was that easy we'd all be excellent at facing public speaking with a positive approach!

This very week I will be putting myself through yet another challenge, a pageant. Yes, you may know that I have been in this specific pageant twice before and another one just once before. So I have had much experience with such an event. No, I never did place as a runner-up or win a title, but that never really mattered to me as much as the whole experience and opportunity that was given to me. I've learned more about myself participating than it would ever matter if I actually won the title or crown. Of course, it would be nice to be Miss Purcellville Police 2012, but I don't put it into my head that the reason for being a participant was ever to actual win. I do it, and without lie, to put myself through what pain I must endure to regain control of a life I should be a part of.

Let this be somewhat of a lesson to you all, that even a person with some sort of disabling feature can overcome the most extreme of extremes. That a fear is really what you set your mind to believe.

So I challenge you all to put yourself up to the test! Find some way of going beyond your comfort zone, and if not for your own good do it for the good of others. I want to see you succeed in your endeavors, whether you seem to fail, in your own eyes or the eyes of others, or not, you will have actually made a leap towards the right path. Don't let your mental incapabilities stop you from living your life.

 You all are capable of devouring your fears and demolishing the world with your experiences! Go ahead! Approach life face first, and I promise I'll be there to catch you if you fall.

(Please refrain from jumping off bridges, buildings, or other tall or possibly not so tall but dangerous places for I cannot catch you if you decide to do so!)

So here are my tips...

1. Remember to breathe
2. Take 10 seconds after any question is asked to look at your audience and comprehend what your about to say before you say anything at all
3. Thank your audience at the beginning of the speech
4. Nowadays, in our generation, people seem to think it is wrong for anyone to pause during a speech or before saying anything at all. What is really right is to actually pause between sentences to allow the listener to digest what you're saying and to give you time to put together your thoughts.
5. Make eye contact with those you are presenting your ideas to. If that is too hard, try to look a little above their forward to make it seem that you are allowing your eyes to come into contact with theirs. No matter how penetrating they may seem at the time, do it. This just tells you they might actually be listening.
6. Stay on topic! Don't wander off. If you have nothing more to say then stop once you've finished what you did have.
7. Just like a formal English paper, use an introduction, supporting sentences for the topic at hand, and finish it all with a conclusion to sum up the main idea you are trying to relay to your listener.
8. Be yourself! That's the most important of all the tips!
9. Know what you want to say, how you want to say it, and when you will say it
10. Practice!... In the mirror, in front of your friends, in your mind as you try to fall asleep, or write it down over and over again. Whatever works best for you!
11. Remind yourself that you can do this! Conquer your fear!

I'm sure there are plenty more, but for now that is all I can remember from my own experiences and what I've heard others speak about. Good luck my fellow public speakers!

"May the odds be ever in your favor!" (The Hunger Games)