FEARS: TIPS AND MORE

Fears: we all have them!

They get us where we are weakest.

According to pretty much every study out there, public speaking is the number one most feared of all the fears we have. Not even death can overcompensate for how anxiety ridden we are when we are faced with getting up in front of a group of our peers or even strangers! That's absolutely insane to think about! Death, losing others or dying ourselves, is less frightful than standing and presenting our ideas to others when we are alive (may not be breathing, but we are living). Those others, being people we may never encounter again in our lives!

Very interesting fact, isn't it?

Our minds are more concerned with being rejected and disappointing others that we can't even seem to comprehend reality and the truth that hours after we speak publicly no one will probably remember if you hesitated, made a mistake, or, even worse, got sick! Yet, even if they did, why do you care what others think about you. They shouldn't make the decision of whether you're a strong, able-bodied person.

Be yourself!

Openly admit your opinions, because they are yours and no one in their right mind could change them unless you let them.
 

So, don't let them!

Personally, I have a terrible time trying to voice my opinion through speech. As you can probably see, I do way better at showing others how I feel and what I am thinking through writing.

 That's just me!

Now, use me as an example. I have anxiety. Specifically, we can talk about a more categorical kind of anxiety that I have: Agoraphobia. This is the fear, and yes I said "fear", of being stuck in a place or area where you cannot escape. Where people, including strangers, will see you having a panic attack or any such anxiety related symptoms. I have been afraid of riding in cars with my friends, staying over at other people's houses, and sitting in a classroom for 45-90 minutes.

I have been through excruciating pain by facing my fears. Do you know who forced me to do that? Let it be no surprise to you, but I, myself, me, put me through what horrible pain I have experienced up until the very day you read this post on my blog. For example, I used to get very, very sick to my stomach when I would just have to go to  attend school. On top of that, I did everything my peers did and more: I presented projects in front of the class, I joined the student council, I was part of the National Honors Society, I was Vice-President of a club, and I made myself a close student/teacher connection with pretty much all of my teachers, etc.

There is one thing I am most proud of to this day, though. Guess what I did? I made it throught all of this, and I can look back and say I did it no matter what happened throughout my journey.

Now, I am able to be more like myself, and, even better, I can be part of the very few percentage of Americans today that can more easily go up in front of a congregation of people, be it peers or strangers, and speak without having someone to physically or mentally force me to do so.

 I wouldn't say it is super easy, because then I would be lying. Hah! If it was that easy we'd all be excellent at facing public speaking with a positive approach!

This very week I will be putting myself through yet another challenge, a pageant. Yes, you may know that I have been in this specific pageant twice before and another one just once before. So I have had much experience with such an event. No, I never did place as a runner-up or win a title, but that never really mattered to me as much as the whole experience and opportunity that was given to me. I've learned more about myself participating than it would ever matter if I actually won the title or crown. Of course, it would be nice to be Miss Purcellville Police 2012, but I don't put it into my head that the reason for being a participant was ever to actual win. I do it, and without lie, to put myself through what pain I must endure to regain control of a life I should be a part of.

Let this be somewhat of a lesson to you all, that even a person with some sort of disabling feature can overcome the most extreme of extremes. That a fear is really what you set your mind to believe.

So I challenge you all to put yourself up to the test! Find some way of going beyond your comfort zone, and if not for your own good do it for the good of others. I want to see you succeed in your endeavors, whether you seem to fail, in your own eyes or the eyes of others, or not, you will have actually made a leap towards the right path. Don't let your mental incapabilities stop you from living your life.

 You all are capable of devouring your fears and demolishing the world with your experiences! Go ahead! Approach life face first, and I promise I'll be there to catch you if you fall.

(Please refrain from jumping off bridges, buildings, or other tall or possibly not so tall but dangerous places for I cannot catch you if you decide to do so!)

So here are my tips...

1. Remember to breathe
2. Take 10 seconds after any question is asked to look at your audience and comprehend what your about to say before you say anything at all
3. Thank your audience at the beginning of the speech
4. Nowadays, in our generation, people seem to think it is wrong for anyone to pause during a speech or before saying anything at all. What is really right is to actually pause between sentences to allow the listener to digest what you're saying and to give you time to put together your thoughts.
5. Make eye contact with those you are presenting your ideas to. If that is too hard, try to look a little above their forward to make it seem that you are allowing your eyes to come into contact with theirs. No matter how penetrating they may seem at the time, do it. This just tells you they might actually be listening.
6. Stay on topic! Don't wander off. If you have nothing more to say then stop once you've finished what you did have.
7. Just like a formal English paper, use an introduction, supporting sentences for the topic at hand, and finish it all with a conclusion to sum up the main idea you are trying to relay to your listener.
8. Be yourself! That's the most important of all the tips!
9. Know what you want to say, how you want to say it, and when you will say it
10. Practice!... In the mirror, in front of your friends, in your mind as you try to fall asleep, or write it down over and over again. Whatever works best for you!
11. Remind yourself that you can do this! Conquer your fear!

I'm sure there are plenty more, but for now that is all I can remember from my own experiences and what I've heard others speak about. Good luck my fellow public speakers!

"May the odds be ever in your favor!" (The Hunger Games)

Update of My Very Much Overwhelming Life

Lately I have found myself being severely overwhelmed.

"Oh," you wonder?

How can such a girl like me be so overwhelmed that she just doesn't know what to do with herself? It's possible!

It is very much so!

I've made my share of mistakes over the eighteen years I've thrived on this planet.

If the word "thrived" actually fit my life.

It is more so that I lived, died, relived, broke apart, fell, crawled, scraped through, stumbled, touched, hurdled, feared, cried, smelled, saw, loved, wrote, heard, made, hate, sang, laughed, swam, limped, climbed, etc, etc.

Yet, I'm still here everyone!

Look at that!

I've been on this crazy planet for more than 18 whole years.

Now I may not be doing the best at living my life right now, but give me props for trying.

 

Here's an update on some, but not all, of what I am going through at this moment...

• I'm learning how to be an adult..if that is even possible since at age 18 no one really treats you as such, yet they expect you to do so.
• I'm in my first semester of community college which someone told me I should take six classes. Worst idea in the history of education. Thanks for helping me feel like a failure and make me feel the unbearable overwhelming dread. *FAIL*
• I am dating one of my good friend's friends...whose name just happens to be Sam (M.R.)
• That good friend from above happens to be a guy named Aaron who is currently living on the couch in my living room of my parent's house in which I still inhabit a room in
•  I am going to therapy every Thursday between classes
• My math teacher is one of the most confusing professors I'll ever meet. Including his bifocals, latex gloves, briefcase, and most likely deliberate no-calculator-hardest-way-to-learn-but-best-way-for-me-to-confuse-the-student-while-only-taking-points-for-quizzes-and-tests-so-that-people-who-can-not-learn-applied-calculus-will-fail-my-class-miserably way of teaching.
• The professor who is not an English professor who gave me a 70 out of 100 for a short essay on a court case about education that I answered everything she wanted but somehow decides that since I made a few grammatical mistakes that she should take off 30 points. Oh, and she even spelled grammar wrong on the paper outline!
• The amount of work I am behind and will never catch up on because my parents did not buy me the supplies I needed in the beginning of the semester
• My brother who just got out of the hospital after having been diagnosed with a parasite and the doctor not being sure if he'd make it out alive
• My parents leaving for a long periof of time to visit my brother in Hawaii as he sat in the hospital
• My other brother and his girlfriend coming to the house just to eat my food! Which if you remember...I don't eat that much of what he can
• Losing a group of people who were as close as family to me because of some decisions that were made..whether they were right or wrong for the time being does not matter
• Remembering why it was that I am overwhelmed and then being overwhelmed cause I see how overwhelmed I really am
• The pageant that I'll be participating in this upcoming Saturday that I hope won't be overtaken by any of the other stressors in my life
• The fact that I feel that I sort of wasted my parents money for the first semester of my college education they paid for
• How I want independence but am not sure exactly how I'll end up going about doing so
• How I want my parents to be proud of me, but feel like I'm more or less making a fool out of myself
• The drama of my friends and those around me
• Trying to keep those suffering from depression and other issues alive
• The lack of money due to the fact that I do not have a job and that some of my money has not ever been given to me and by the people who intentionally used me for free because I thought I would be nice
• How all of this makes me go insane and how I try my best to hold it together
• How I need to show you, my readers, that through all this I'm still alive and still working through it as best as I can manage for the time being. To make you see that you can do it too!
• and much more...

That, my friends, was my update and a half plus a little bit of a rant and an extent of trying to release some, if any, stress in my life at this time.

Down Syndrome: We Can All Be Friends

Down Syndrome: We Can All Be Friends

 

 

 

 

^^^ Above is a link of a 13 minute video about children with Down Syndrome ^^^

 

If you don't already know, I am aspiring to be a Special Education teacher for high school-aged students. I have always been looking to find some way to make a difference in this world and to be able to reach out to the people.

 

THIS IS MY CALLING!

 

In my senior year of high school (Go WHS!!) I dropped my AP Statistics class a couple weeks into school because my anxiety was making me sick to my stomach and I was having trouble learning through just reading the textbook. Without doing this, I am not sure who I would be or what I would be wanting to do in my life. So, for one, I thank my anxiety, which is not always so bad to have, for making me switch out of that dreadful class.

 

You may be wondering why it is that I am thanking a class I never took for making me want to be a Special Education teacher. The answer is that I turned my sixth block into a time to aid students with different disabilities (best word I could find at this time). I got to meet the wonderful students and the teachers. They all taught me so much, about myself and about helping others. It threw my life in a whole new direction.

I got to see that sometimes my situation isn't always as bad as I make it out to be. Yes, I have anxiety. Yes, life is not easy. Yes, I am failing at my first semester in college. Yes, a lot of my friends have changed and moved on. Yes, yes, yes.

These kids made my days when I was holding back tears. They put a smile on my face, as I did the same for them. I saw them struggle to speak their mind, overcome their differences, and work in class. Yet, they accomplished so much in the year that I was with them. One boy was overweight and we all tried very hard to teach him nutritional values and about how exercise is important. Later that year he finally had his first salad, and they started him on a regimen of walking around the school to get into a habit of exercising. That same boy in the beginning of the year ate more than I could eat in a day and none of it was ever healthy.

One time we were playing soccer in the wrestling room, where there PE class is held, and I kicked the ball to the same boy I was talking about above. Guess what he did? He made it into the net! I was so proud of him. I gave him a high-five, and that one accomplishment made his day. Now, to this day, I feel like I made a difference in that boys life.

Another boy I worked with on occasion was both blind and deaf. Imagine that! I never knew he even existed, or went to our school, until the day I joined that class. I learned that to teach such a student was a very difficult task. As it is with any student really. Gosh, I wondered. How in the world could he learn? What was the point of even being at the school? Then I figured it out. You taught him by cause-and-effect: tap his hand three times to release the ball (even if he didn't actually let go on his own), let it roll down the ramp, and if it hit the pin he got to feel it). This wasn't just learning but it was sensory learning. If you can't see and can't hear all you really have left is your taste, smell, and touch. So he had to learn through that.

I couldn't even imagine how it would feel to be both blind and deaf. Not knowing what the world was like. What would I even think about? That would just kill me. So to see him wheelchair bound was hard. The poor guy. So weak. So unknowing of life. Yet, there he was eight hours every week day in the same school I sat in and learned my English, history, math, science, foreign language, music, and more. I still wonder what his mind goes through. He doesn't say any words, just moans and you're stuck figuring out what is wrong.

I've become friends with these students. They look up to me, and when I see them around town I call them by name. We have conversations in the hallways of school and at football games. It may be hard to understand them but I try my very best to comprehend what they are trying to tell me.

I want others to recognize that these kids are full of amazement. That they are just like us. They need friends. They enjoy singing and dancing. Being silly is what they do. Having fun is just a way of life. They feel secluded. They yearn to be like every one else, yet we just walk on past them as they sit in the hallway eating there lunch like everyone else but no one spends time with them. There only interaction is with the teachers.

So next time you are walking the halls of your school, or really anywhere for that matter, stop for a second and say "HEY!!". The smile you'll bring to their face will make you understand how I feel. It's the same feeling of being a teacher, which is exactly why I want to work with these students.

Watch the video if you haven't already! You'll learn something new! Even I did!

Love,
<3 p="p">
Forever Lexi =D

 

Thought We Were Family

I could not finish writing one of my posts because of what I read on Facebook. My brother who just a week ago was in the hospital pretty much dying commented on my status. I was saying how I give up on college. Then just now a day or two later I read what people commented and it was what my own brother said. He used to be my hero and such an inspiration to me. Now he's bringing tears to my eyes. He told me that if I couldn't make it through one semester of college then I should just give up on life. He said I was a quitter. I can barely write right now. Earlier I accidently squirted soap in my eye and this hurts more. I'm watching Tosh.O.  Why would my own brother do that to me? Just why?

October 27th

It was a chilly night a couple of days before Halloween. Two of my friends were walking with me down the town's main street. They were both guys, of course. On my left was a new friend who blatantly showed me his feelings both physically and mentally, and to my right was an old friend I hadn't seen nor talked to in three long years. On a saturday night, a teen like me should be out with her friends. So, of course, it wasn't unlike me to be walking to meet up with a couple other people. Down the street we went, making noise at 11 o'clock; we laughed up a storm as my boots crunching the leaves on the sidewalk as we went.
Being with other people takes my mind off of what I try to forget. Life. Oh, my life. I had just started college about two whole months ago and I was just dying with stress. All I could focus on was how behind I was, and how I just wanted out of it all. I was already so invested, though. Money was spent, and the hundreds of dollars I would put to waste if I just quit. I would let down my family and the friends I still had.
We made it to McDonald's. There they were, sitting at a table. We walked in and sat down at a table across from them. I had no idea what they were talking about, or who the three others were that sat with my two friends. I was distracted from the two guys who had walked in with me. There was a cute guy I could see sitting with them. Gosh, that's all I could think. I had to get to know him. Who was he?
I texted my friend who was sitting across from him: "Who is that? He's cute!".
The reply, "Oh, you mean Sam?"
"Ya, I guess. You should totally hook me up!".
I tried not to blush when I heard him say that Sam should scoot over to let me sit next to him or that he should come over and sit by me.
Unbeknownced to me, tonight was going to last way longer than I originally had thought, and I was definitely going to have a good time while I forgot about the stresses I left behind at home. After McDonald's was back down the street from where I came and I throw out the random idea of walking in the woods to circle back to McDonald's again. Oh, my whimsical ideas. Where they get me in life.
My friendly advice is that you must never wear boots with heels in the woods. Not safe or fun!

<<>>

What hurts the most...

The thing that hits me the hardest, deep inside where it hurts the most, is knowing that he may never understand me. Yes, I'll admit that at times I feel as if I barely know myself, but it is hard to see if he is really trying. I search for reasons that show me he cares and I do find them, however there is something missing. It's his feelings and persona towards mine; the ones of anxiety, of fear, of hurt, of sadness, and overall the feeling of not being understood. The one thing I yearn for most of all is for him to see me as I am, and have that connection where my thoughts turn to words and those words pierce that thick skull he's toughened through his own conflicted, obstacle-filled life. To have someone recognize your struggling and reach out for your hand to guide you along is what a father should do. I've always looked up to him as my hero, but now I am starting to stray from that point of thought. Who is my hero now? The strongest person I know of is myself... I know what I have gone through each and every day to get to where I am at this very moment.

My heart is confused as the blood rushes through, my brain cannot make decisions fast enough. What do I do? What do I do? There's no way to turn back on what has already
been done. So what do I do? I ask. Please give me an answer it would surely help. For if I know what I once knew, the only one who can truly help me is me.

Is Everything on the Internet True?

Sam M.R.  is adorable as can be <3 p="p">
P.S. I'm talking about you, silly!